So....

You may have noticed a lack of updates... both of you that read this, that is. Anyhoosal... AZMD.net is kind of 'defunct' now, but after some thought, I decided I wanted a little more input on the site... so I've decided to start my own website. When it comes up, there will be a comic and an article... this space will then be used just for pure blogging stuffage. That's now a word. Well... 'that' has always been a word... but now 'stuffage' is... ah, fuck it. Anyhoo... watch this space for updates and a link to the site once it's up. It's gonna be sweeeeet!

AZMD status

Well... it looks like the AZMD.net website is back up and on track. I'm still going to post my "articles" here as well as there, but I'm going to be one post behind on here, basically... posts like this one (blogs) will remain exclusive to this site so I don't bore the shit out of anyone. Well... no more than I have to. At any rate... I have two new articles up on AZMD.net (a video game review for Psychonauts and my first new article in 2 weeks. I'm a slacker. We slack. Get over it already.

Vacation. It's all I ever wanted.

Hopefully, the tune is now stuck in your heads.  I say "heads" with the assumption that anyone else is reading this, even though the little site meter I put on here only updates when I check for spelling mistakes.  According to the traffic meter, my blog is very popular with 34 year old males.  Named Todd. 

So... my girlfriend and I took a trip to Conneticut a few weeks ago to see my friends.  Good times were had, but it was just a weekend thing.  I needed a vacation.  So I took her to see Wicked in New York (it was awesome), and then we went to New Hope (PA) for 2 days.  On the way there, we decided to pull out the laptop (complete with GPS) and have it guide us safely to our destination.  One hour, 45 minutes away.  About an hour and a half into it, however, we notice signs for the Lincoln Tunnel.  I'm not Magellan, but I'm pretty sure that New York is not on the way to PA.  So I look at our GPS route a little more closely.  There is a "waypoint" in the middle of New York (leftover from the CT trip).  We are now 1 hour, 45 minutes away from New Hope. 

It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for that fucking computer voice MOCKING us the entire way.  I half expected it to ask me to play thermonuclear war with it.  Day two of the vacation, and I need a vacation from my vacation already. 

Cha-cha-cha-CHANGES!

So... for anyone that reads this blog (that would be you, Nicola!)... you have probably noticed that there is suddenly a mass update.  If you aren't Nicola... I write for a friend's site (AZMD.NET), and have placed the articles from there on my personal blog here at blogger.com.  This will have more typical "blog" updates from now on as well, but I thought I'd spruce the place up with my weekly updates from AZMD.  I've recently come back from a trip to New Hope, so look for that update either on AZMD or here.  I haven't decided what to write this week's article about quite yet.  I love waiting until the last possible second.  Why put off until tomorrow what you can postpone until next week!

What's in a Name?

Ah… the anonymity of the internet. Whenever I start up a new account, I literally swoon with the power I'm given, simply because I get to choose my login ID and/or handle. I get to choose my fucking NAME! I don't have to go to court and pay a shit-ton of money to a judge and then go change my license at the DMV and all my credit cards. I just… y'know… choose one.

My concern is… with all of this power, why do people pick these fucking RETARDED names? I picked Blogger #4523-K as a little way of poking fun at all of this, but I've seen some fucking stupid names… and I just can't stop thinking "Wow. They PICKED that". You were given the power to pick anything… and you picked StrawberryFrog, H3ll0kittzroxx0rz, or Ilikeballs!?!? What the fuck is wrong with you? What if you accidentally end up saying something that changes the world? You're interviewed for it, and the bottom third of the TV screen, under your picture, says "ZombieDick25". I guess my main question is… why the 25? Are there really TWENTY-FUCKING-FOUR other people that just had to have the name ZombieDick!?!?

Some just confuse the Hell out of me. I will spend hours trying to figure out what zgrtfse3ddzzz means. I don't have fucking passwords this complex! I imagine their password to be "robert" or something. Maybe they just typed them in the wrong boxes.

Even over at AZMD.NET, we have Aurous Star. I mean no offense… well… I probably do, but it's a nice way to cushion the blow… but what the fuck? It sounds like a really pretty name for someone's taint. "Hey… when you bend over, I can totally see your Aurous Star". Xsarthis? I picture him trying to type "pompous asshole" with his dick while throwing his shit at the monitor, and that's what he came up with.

What I'm saying is… you get to choose anything you want. If something really good is taken… don't just throw random numbers at the end. If you can't think of something… put off signing up for a bit. It's your name. You don't want to be "squirrelnuts" for the rest of your life because you panicked. Oh… one more thing… a 3 is not an 'e', a 2 is not a 'z', and there is no fucking way in Hell that a 7 even SORT of looks like a "T"! So knock it off, and PULL UP YOUR FUCKING PANTS!

Well... shit!

So... some nice people came over and played in my shit yesterday and today. My sewer main broke. I'm guessing being a plumber has it's perks (like the money I shelled out)... but I'll go out on a limb and assume it's not a profession that allows one to go home and relax with a nice cup of hot chocolate and a Snickers bar. I'm just saying, you know... I know I wouldn't be able to ever eat corn again. Seeing your own shit splattered on another dude (not to mention your walls) is a certain humiliation no one should have to endure. Unless you're into German porn, I guess. They LOVE shitting on each other over there.

Comedians

Well... it's been awhile, hasn't it? AND NO ONE NOTICED! That's just how blogs work. No one but your girlfriend (hiya, Captain!) really ever gives a shit. My girlfriend's got a blog. She's much better about it now, but at first, she'd make an update, and then run in and tell me to look at it while she read it over my shoulder. No pressure. Honest.

So... a friend of mine and I went to see some comedians last night. They were all funny, but one thing bothered the SHIT out of me... the first comedian. Granted, he had some funny bits and all... but, look... you're not fooling ANYONE. This is your job! You've written most of this material well over a year ago, refined it, practiced it on your friends and family, and you've performed it live. You've been from club to club, college-to-college, and you've refined it. This is not the first time you've said this stuff. STOP LAUGHING AT YOUR OWN FUCKING MATERIAL! You do not think you're this funny. If you did, you wouldn't be a comedian! People that are that in love with themselves end up living with their parents well into their 40s, and never leave the house... they just sit on the floor of their bathroom and jerk off into their own mouths. "MMMM! God DAMN, I'm delicious!". Tell your joke, introduce the next comedian, and shut the fuck up!